I totally agree with all your sentiments. However, people sometimes do things emotionally. If one is so emotionally attached to another, they just can't contemplate living without the other person. I agree it is wrong, but it happens. I think Sati must have started off like that and then it became a social evil and women were forced to do it under duress.
As to applying it to men - I have only seen it in an (unforgettable) movie by Cheran - "Bharathi Kannamma"!
First of all, origins of sati are in oppression, not emotion. Women in those days preferred death to the treatment they got as widows. It was not out of love (does not mean lack of love either) but a choice of lesser evil. Jauhar and all related acts were choice of death versus dishonor and treatment as widows.
The name Sati originated from Siva's consort and Daksha's daughter who committed suicide due to dishonor at her father's court. It had nothing to do with dying with her husband. The Ramayana has one instance of Mandodhari who dies with her husband becuause she lost it all, and the Mahabharat one instance of Pandu's second wife Madri who again dies since she caused the death of her husband. All other women in both epics lived long after their spouses died.
I will correct what you say a little - suicide happens by several emotionally immature people, starting with Sati it only caused pain and anguish to those they left behind. To die by fire for love? Hm..try to extinguish a candle or deepa by hand...Atleast I would choose something less painful if I really had to :))